We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We are two peas in an std pod
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
