Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My vagina is officially offended.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
