id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
