wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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