if i can run in heels then i can drive
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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