i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
