Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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