She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
