Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
