Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
