Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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