I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
