Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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