rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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