Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
