i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
