I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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