Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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