I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
