Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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