i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
