nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
