If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
