I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
