so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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