My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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