Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
