I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
