Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
