I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
