Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
