You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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