I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
