Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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