therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So apparently I’m into choking now
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
