She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
