The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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