I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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