The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
