lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
