***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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