Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
