I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
