lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
