woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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