Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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