Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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