I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I will be naked everywhere
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's get the cat blown out
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
