Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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