That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
